How to stop the downward spiral
Why did you eat that second pack of crisps? You’re not even good at your job. You’re a rubbish friend. How you ever gonna make your business work? You let everyone down.
We may look at this talk and think its come from an internet troll or the blurb of an abusive partner but nope, it is the inner voice that speaks thousands of words to you daily. Clearly not all of them are positive – as the 60% of women who have negative thoughts about themselves on a weekly basis will testify.
I’ve been full of cold this week and I’ve moped about thinking thoughts like, Im bored with the mundane, wheres the excitement, why am I never satisfied, I’m greedy always wanting more. A recent study found that women’s brains are more sensitive to negative emotions than men’s. Hardly surprising then that women are almost twice as likely to suffer from anxiety as men, according to research carried out at Cambridge University.
But whats a women to do when we find ourselves in a negative bingeitis downward thinking spiral, and how do we banish these bad thoughts?
Firstly anxiety, sadness, anger and fear are just as valid as happiness and excitement. They are all part of being human, so don’t be telling yourself and punishing yourself that you ‘should’ be dealing with this better. They are part of our bodies way of telling us what we really care about. After all if I hadn’t had bingeitis-thinking this week I wouldn’t be writing this blog to help others who are feeling the same.
Feel your thoughts
Acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings, telling yourself ‘I’m willing to have these feelings and really experience them.’ Just sitting with these feelings and allowing them , letting them go as they pass through you can be really powerful. It may not feel good at the time but rather than rationalising them, let them pass through you, you will feel a sense of lightness allowing them rather than fighting them.
Focus on the Diamond
As we discussed earlier these feelings you are experiencing are there because you really care about something or someone. For example if you’re having a thought like ‘I’m a terrible friend/partner/mother,’ take it for what it is! This means you care enough to want to be the very best friend/partner/mother and you are a real diamond to feel this way and care so much! It is a great reminder to you that family and friendship are so important to you and also stops you from getting complacent.
Wear your Diamond
Having experienced your feelings and now understanding what is important to you and your core values, ‘Your inner diamond’. Taking small steps towards your core values daily will make you sparkle from the inside out as you now know what is important to you to enable you to feel happy. For example if being healthy is one of your core values but you always eat chocolate at 7pm, keep a bowl of fruit by your side and be ready for then.
Life involves failure, rejection and difficult situations, but once you’ve shone a light on your emotions and discovered your values and what is meaningful to you, you are in a lot better place to put effective strategies in place that take you closer to being the person you want to be.